How I overcome the struggles with my shadows and became familiar with the experience of suffering
Posted on June 14 2021
My Journey: The Inspiration Behind a Collaboration between Gogh Jewelry Design and Kayla Ramos
Written by Kayla Ramos
At the age of 20, my journey has already been a long one.
From a young age I have deeply struggled with my shadows, becoming familiar with the experience of suffering.
At 3, I knew what it was like to feel disconnected.
At 10, I knew what it was like to lack trust and security.
At 13, I knew what it was like to experience the excruciating pain of grief.
At 16, I knew what it was like to feel different, and alone.
At 18, I knew what it was like to struggle with deep, dark, shadows you feel engulf you and take over your life.
At 19, I knew what it was like to live in your body yet watch a former shell of yourself just try to cope and hold on until help arrives.
Though I knew there was something going on, I didn’t quite know what to do with it. Throughout my teen years, I tried to look for help, but couldn’t quite get to the root of it all.
It wasn’t until my first year of college that I really took it upon myself to get the right help. It took various phone calls, intake appointments, and months and months of searching until I finally found someone who really understood me.
And since then, thankfully the path I am walking on - has become a lot clearer.
At 20, now I know that pain and suffering is not an indicator that I am broken, but just a part of being human. At 20, I know that although I am responsible for my emotions I am not alone in my struggles (I never was), and the right help is out there.
I know that I was never off-track, even when I was struggling the most. Shadows are just arrows pointing to where I can do the work to heal and awaken. I know that I will be called to work through different things at different parts of my life, and that is okay.
I practice honoring what comes up, trusting that it is all a part of the process. I practice integrating that I am on a lifelong journey of awakening.
And today... Even though telling this story takes a lot of courage, I can find it within myself to share something so personal. It is because I know I am not alone.
I want to share that though our shadows may be a part of us, we have it within us to become lovingly aware of them, work through them, and “alchemize, turning those shadows into light.” -as my Teacher says.
Because I know I am not the only one on this path, I wanted to help create jewelry pieces that support the wearer in their everyday life, gently reminding them to meet themselves where they are at each day and each moment.
I have been a Gogh Jewelry Design customer for a very long time, most of the time requesting a customization to the piece I bought. Over the years, I started to have a great communication with the designer, Szilvia Gogh.
Since I am offering meditations to those on the same path, I wanted to incorporate intentional jewelry as part of the practice, so I asked Szilvia to collaborate.
I want you to remember that you have the space to hold all that comes up and that your pain doesn’t define you.
I want to remind you that you can practice surrender amidst uncertainty, and trust that things will be okay.
I want you to remember that although you are working towards growth, you don’t have to wait to enjoy the present moment.
I want you to be reminded that you aren’t alone on your journey, and that you are guided, held, supported, and loved through it all.
And lastly, I want to remind you that no matter where you are in your journey, you are enough. ALL this wisdom, all important, bright gems I found and learned on my journey that lit up the path for me, is what I wanted to share symbolically as we created this collection.
My hope is that wearing this intentional jewelry will remind you of what is most important to you on this journey, but most of all, remind you that you have it within yourself to navigate and thrive in this journey we call life.
I hope that wearing these beautiful elements from the earth, simply designed, will remind you that you are grounded in it, supported in it, and that you belong.
This awakening and Love is your birthright.
“Thank you so much Szilvia for being a dear friend, collaborating with me, and making one of my dreams come true. I’m so grateful that you decided to live in your empowerment and share your gift with us all, so that other people can be inspired to look within and find their own.” Sincerely, Kayla